As someone who has always modeled their romantic relationships on the foundation of friendship, I find it unsettling tha
obsidian
approved
Published: 2026-06-23
Added: 2026-07-01
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nonmonogamy
openrelationship
polyamorous
polyamory
relationshipgoals
source/instagram
---
title: "As someone who has always modeled their romantic relationships on the foundation of friendship, I find it unsettling that many people stay in relationships with partners they don’t truly like. Instead"
type: source
source_type: instagram
platform: instagram
url: "https://www.instagram.co...
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---
title: "As someone who has always modeled their romantic relationships on the foundation of friendship, I find it unsettling that many people stay in relationships with partners they don’t truly like. Instead"
type: source
source_type: instagram
platform: instagram
url: "https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_zAwVvto4X/"
source_id: "instagram:reel/c_zawvvto4x"
creator: ""
captured_at: "2026-06-18"
processed_with: "yt-dlp + faster-whisper"
capture_status: media_downloaded
review_status: intake
confidence: high
relevance_score: 100
source_chat: "ig-fb-export"
topics:
- wealth
- philosophy
- mindset
- food
- culture
- health
tags:
- source/instagram
- source/instagram
---
# As someone who has always modeled their romantic relationships on the foundation of friendship, I find it unsettling tha
## Source Metadata
- **Platform:** instagram
- **URL:** https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_zAwVvto4X/
- **Relevance Score:** 100/100
- **Matched Topics:** wealth, philosophy, mindset, ai, food, culture, health
- **Source:** ig-fb-export
- **Method:** yt-dlp + faster-whisper
- **Confidence:** high
- **Audio Language:** en
- **Audio Duration:** 900.0300625s
- **OB1 Raw:** `ob1-deploy/sources/instagram/reel/c_zawvvto4x/`
## Summary
Most men have no idea whether we actually like our partners or not, especially if they're women. But what's worse and far more dangerous is that most men have absolutely no idea that we have no idea whether or not we like our female partners. That idea may bring up resistance in a lot of guys, let m...
## Corrected Transcript / Extracted Text
Most men have no idea whether we actually like our partners or not, especially if they're women. But what's worse and far more dangerous is that most men have absolutely no idea that we have no idea whether or not we like our female partners. That idea may bring up resistance in a lot of guys, let me show you. If you're a guy who dates women, think about all the women you've dated, even briefly. If you're my age, that's probably dozens of women. Now, in retrospect, how many of those women would you go out of your way to hang out with again? If there was absolutely no chance that you would have up. Imagine that you're in a committed and nationalist relationship, so are they. How many of your exes would you want to hang out with? Not. Wouldn't mind running into. Not. There was one element of them that you appreciated. I mean, would actively like to see and hang out with again. Those are the women who you may have actually liked. For me, when I consider that question honestly, that's like two women out of maybe 60, but I've dated in my life. I've never once knowingly started or stayed in a relationship with someone that I didn't like. That means that without knowing I was doing it, I dated almost 60 people who I either didn't really like, or much more often, just didn't actually care that much one way or another about. I don't mean I didn't value their well-being at the time. I don't mean I necessarily treated them poorly. I mean, emotionally, I didn't actively like them. Here's another way to think about this. You know that saying that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. When people separate, they usually miss each other, even the one who ended it. But usually, when they start seeing someone else, they don't feel that much anymore. If you're in a relationship with somebody and it ends, and you sleep with a few other people over the next few months, and you still miss that person you were in a relationship with, that's a really good indicator that you actually liked that person. It doesn't mean you were necessarily a good fit romantically. It just means that you may have genuinely liked them. But here's the real heart of this video. If you had asked me in any one of those relationships, if I liked my partner, I would have been offended by the question. I would have said, of course, I would have had a thinly veiled self-congratulatory, self-aggrandizing conversation with my partner later about it about how grateful I was to be one of the men who really knows that I liked my partner. I honestly couldn't see that I didn't actively like or especially care about any of those women, despite telling many that I loved them dating some for long periods of time. I liked having a partner. I liked the physical contact, the intimacy, the company, all the things that having a partner did for me, both personally and socially, and being partner does a lot for men, socially. Partnered men are seen as more attractive, more stable, safer, generally better than single men. I liked that. I liked having someone to curl up with at night, go on dates and adventures with. It's not that those relationships were necessarily exploitative or harmful, and that's also not a binary, so there are likely ways in which those relationships were, at least in some ways, exploitative and harmful, especially if those women actually liked me, which is not g
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